


Lebanon

by Substiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel (Supernatural) is Loved, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Episode: s14e13 Lebanon, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 06:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18330917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Substiel/pseuds/Substiel
Summary: What if the pearl gave Dean a normal life instead of his father? A life with no hunting and his happy parents alive and together? What if he finally realized how much he loved Castiel after a near death experience?





	Lebanon

**Author's Note:**

> Dean wanting his father back was very odd to see. I figured he wanted a normal life instead so I decided to write it. Then he realizes how much he loves Cas because the angel doesn’t remember him. Enjoy!

“It’s one of eight ancient Chinese treasures. It’s a pearl that grants wishes, sort of.” Sam explained to his brother Dean who looked even more confused. “Well, technically, it’s supposed to give you what your heart desires.”

A smirk tugged on Dean’s lips when his mind wandered over to the dangerous territory. The territory he swore to never explore. It was only his imagination, a life he would never have when living like this. It wasn’t important in any way. Their only mission was to get Michael out of his head. He wanted him gone. He kept repeating that in his head but feared it wasn’t true. Not when he wanted something even more.

“So do I just hold it and think about Michael getting out of my head?” Dean asked as he stared at the pearl.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Sam shrugged.

Dean unwrapped the pearl with care and stared at the ornament with distrust. What other choice do they have? Unless they counted Dean’s plan which Sam and Castiel shot down immediately. He closed his fingers around the pearl and held it close to his body. He closed his eyes and focused on the thought of Michael leaving.

Dean was sure he heard a crack from gripping the pearl too tightly. He risked taking a peek and cracked an eye open. The sight that met him stole his breath away. He dropped the pearl with surprise and opened his other eye to look around. He was no longer in the bunker. He was back at the old house he and his family occupied when he was a kid.

The walls were decorated with picture frames of the small family he had. Large and happy smiles stared back at him. He held out a hand and touched over the happy faces. He felt his eyes well up in tears and he sniffled.

“Dean, is that you? I need some help in the kitchen.”

The voice boomed throughout the house, making Dean jump. He followed the voice to the kitchen where his mother stood. She was humming to herself and cooking up a meal big enough for a whole army.

“Mom?” Dean’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat. He could already feel another wave of sadness upon looking at his mother.

Mary glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “Hey. Mind helping me set the table? Your father will come home any minute now.”

At the mention of his father Dean tensed up. He gulped and nodded slowly before grabbing the silverware from the cabinets. He was tense all throughout setting up the table and helping his mother with the rest of the food she needed to make. If Mary noticed she didn't ask.

The front door opened and closed before they heard heavy footsteps making their way into the kitchen. John Winchester emerged from the hallway and his face lip up when he spotted his wife. He walked over to her and kissed her on the lips, making Dean cringe. Even as an adult it was weird watching his parents kiss.

When John turned toward him Dean masked his emotion and stood up a little straighter. “It’s nice to see ya. How long has it been? Two months? How’s the garage going with Bobby?” He asked and pulled Dean in for a hug.

Dean tensed up even more and relaxed after a while. He melted into his father’s touch and hugged him just as tightly. “It’s going good.” He said weakly. They pulled away and John gave him a smile. He looked  _ happy. _ Dean didn’t even think his father was capable of experiencing happiness. He was taken back by it.

“That’s good. Next time you see that old fart tell him to come over to eat one day. It’ll be nice to catch up with him.” John patted him on the shoulder and took his seat on the table. “Looks good, Mary. All this food is for me?”

“Of course not, silly.” Mary rolled her eyes playfully and nudged John. “Half of it is for the neighbors who just moved in. I figured it’s the best welcoming gift to give them.”

“They’ll enjoy it,” Deam promised, and if they didn’t then their opinion would never change his view on Mary.

The doorbell rang again and Mary looked surprised. “Any of you two boys expecting anyone?” She asked when she made her way over to the front door. Dean heard the door open and a gasp followed by a “Sam! I’m so glad you’re here!”

Sam’s gigantic form was pushed by a giddy Mary. “Look who came over.” She announced and led Sam to sit by Dean.

“How’s it going, Sammy? The lawyer business hasn’t crushed you yet?” John joked as he cut into his steak.

Sam was even more tensed than Dean who was relaxed and already eating. Sam gave him a sideways glance before sporting a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “No. I’m doing fine,” he replied awkwardly and stared down at his plate of food Mary placed in front of him.

“Dean, can I talk to you?” Sam questioned and glared at Dean who was about to refuse. He rolled his eyes and stood up from his seat and was followed by Sam into the living room. Once they were out of earshot Sam’s form deflated. “What is this? I thought the pearl was supposed to get Michael out of your head.”

“Technically he did but the pearl also gave me this. Sweet right?” Dean gestured to the house and grinned. At Sam’s pissed off look he sighed. “I’ve wanted a normal life ever since I was a kid. I wanted our family happy and free from any danger. We have that now. Why is it so hard to not accept it? There haven’t been any consequences yet and Michael is out of my head.”

“This is a lie, Dean. We both know it’s a lie. How could we live like this for the rest of our lives when we know there’s evil out there?” Sam frowned.

“You know, for once, I want to be selfish. I want a normal dinner with my family. Consequences be damned. My parents are happy. I’m happy. Why can’t you let yourself be happy?” Dean pleaded.

Sam nibbled on his lip as the brothers stared at each other. He narrowed his eyes and Dean could visibly see the inner war Sam was having with himself. A few long minutes later Sam sighed and shook his head. “You know what? You’re right. When have we ever gotten something good? We should take it.” He smiled.

“Thank you,” Dean whispered. “Now let’s go eat some steak!”

 

\-     -     -     -     -

 

Castiel’s memories were going haywire and he feared the other angels would notice something odd about him and try to  _ fix  _ him. He suppressed a shiver and blocked the unneeded memories. They vanished before he could comprehend them. He didn’t care either way he was free from their chambers and could proceed to focus on his missions.

Zachariah entered the meeting room and glanced at every angel in the room. He was processing some information until his eyes landed on Castiel. “Interesting…” he murmured and a wicked smirk tugged on his lips. He walked over to the front of the room to grab everyone’s attention. “I have a mission for all of you.”

Serval heads perked up and the others stayed motionless as they waited for more information. “I know this mission won’t bother any of you so I expect great work from every one of you.” He stared down at every angel as he walked around the long table. “I want every one of you to kill every known hunter. I don’t care how but I want it done  _ now.”  _ He stopped in front of the room and clapped his hands. “Chop chop. I don’t want you wasting any of my time and oh, Castiel. You’re coming with me.”

Castiel stayed put as every angel in the room left the room to fulfill their duties. Zachariah placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and flew them in an alleyway. Castiel’s glare roamed the alleyway and the streets of Lebanon, Kansas with distaste. A couple of people walked by them and Castiel turned his glare at them. They ran away from the pair with fear and Castiel felt a sense of pride.

Humans were afraid of him.

“Our Father’s creations aren’t very impressive,” Castiel noted.

“Good. You’re learning. Now come on Constantine. We have work to do.” Zachariah ordered and walked out of the alleyway.

“I don't understand that reference.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Castiel quickly followed after Zachariah without question though he did want to ask him some. For example,  _ why were they here?  _ Wouldn’t he had chosen somewhere better? Castiel would’ve if given the change. They entered through a backdoor and were met by humans in a kitchen. “Kill them. All of them.” Zachariah commanded.

Castiel did. He grabbed every runaway and placed a hand over their heads to kill them without another thought. He burned their eyes out of their skulls and relished in the way they screamed and crumpled to the floor.  _ Useless,  _ Castiel thought as he killed the last one. When they entered the diner they were met by the bartender and a couple of teenagers who were talking amongst each other.

“Who are you, and where did you come from?” The bartender asked as she stepped back with caution.

“My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the lord, and I’m here to kill you all.” Castiel’s eyes glowed and a pair of shadowy wings appeared behind me to illuminate the dark diner. The front doors burst open and two large men appeared. They ushered the teenagers and bartender out of the diner just when Castiel was back to his normal self.

“Ah, Sam and Dean Winchester. You just don’t quit, do you?” Zachariah shook his head. “You know I was quite surprised on how you did it. Can’t help but always getting your hands dirty. I should probably be thanking you for giving me my most loyal soldier back but you know the rules, and I can’t allow that.”

Dean ignored Zachariah and turned his attention to Castiel who stood motionless behind the other angel. “Cas, you know us.”

Castiel tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes at the strange man. Unwanted memories started to flood him, but he squashed them back down. “I don’t know you.”

The face of a broken man stared back at him and Castiel regretted his words but he didn’t take them back. Why would he? He needed to ignore his feelings before Zachariah could sense something was off.

“Kill Dean Winchester.”

Castiel’s mind was wiped away from any emotion or memory when given the command from Zachariah. His angel blade fell from his sleeve and he gripped the handle of it. Dean took out a similar angel blade and held out a hand, pleading for Castiel to stop. Zachariah used his grace to choke Sam and Castiel snapped his attention to Dean Winchester.

Castiel advanced toward the man and blocked the punch that was thrown at him. He headbutted Dean and kicked him in the gut. Dean groaned in pain from his place on the ground and the angel blade fell out of his hand. He grasped around for it but Castiel kicked him again. Dean crawled away and helped himself up by leaning against the wall.

Castiel gripped Dean by the neck and pinned him against the wall. Dean struggled against his hold and grasped onto the trench coat. “Please, Cas.” Dean whimpered weakly. Castiel looked back at him with murder in his eyes and gripped his angel blade tightly.

“Cas…” Dean gasped and held out his hands to stop Castiel. His weak attempts only promoted Castiel to tighten his hold. “Cas, please. This isn’t you. L-listen to me. Hey...Please remember me. I’m your Dean. Remember? You saved me from hell.”

Castiel was blinded by the memories that threatened to overcome and his grip loosened. Dean looked up at him with so much  _ love  _ and  _ hope.  _ He was just gripping onto Castiel for dear life and clearly didn’t care if he got hurt. He was going to  _ stay _ until Castiel remembered who he was.

_ Kill Dean Winchester. _

If he didn’t care if he was going to get hurt then so be it. Castiel plunged the angel blade into Dean’s abdominal and let go of him. He watched as the man crumpled to the floor and pulled out his blade. So many emotions were going through Dean’s face; surprise, sorrow, guilt, and worst of all,  _ love. WHY? _

It didn’t matter. Castiel fulfilled his mission. With one cold look back at Dean, he disappeared from the diner without another word.

 

\-     -     -     -     -

 

The monitor beeping was too loud in the quiet room. Dean cracked his eyes open and groaned at the bright lights that danced around him. He tried to sit up but the pain that shot throughout his body prevented him from going any further. He huffed and opened his eyes again. The scent of blood and  _ death  _ made him gag. He hated the hospital.

A doctor came inside and gave Dean a smile of relief. “You’re awake.” He checked over Dean’s vitals before explaining what happened.

“Damn,” Dean mumbled after the doctor was done. Whatever bizarre story Sam came up with Dean didn’t hear. He was too busy thinking about Cas.  _ This is my fault.  _ He shut his eyes and sighed tiredly. He knew something bad was going to happen but he didn’t expect it to be  _ this  _ bad.

“There’s one more thing.” The doctor whispered and frowned.

“Lay it on me, doc. I got all day.” Dean leaned his head back against the comfy pillow and stared up at the ceiling.

“You may never walk away.”

“What?!” Dean sat up but regretted it immediately and laid back down. “What do you mean?”

“You were lucky enough to live after that car crash but the accident permanently damaged you. I’m sorry to say this but you can never walk again.” The doctor frowned.

“Son of a bitch.” Dean murmured and closed his eyes. Despite his condition, he didn’t blame  _ any  _ of it on Cas. The angel was just responding to orders and Dean got that. He understood. It didn’t help that he was still pissed about not being able to walk anymore.

“You have visitors. May I go get them?” The doctor asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Dean nodded. “Sure.” The doctor exited the room and Dean was left to cope on his own. Just until his parents and Sam came into the room.

“My boy!” Mary cried and threw her arms around Dean. She hugged him tightly and Dean feared she was going to break his back. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” She pulled away and wiped away her tears. John joined in on the hug and even Sam who looked like he was on the verge of crying.

“I got lucky, huh?” Dean smiled awkwardly.

“Very lucky! I was ready to sue the person who hit you.” Mary said angrily then started to cry again. John reached out and rubbed her arm for comfort.

“I’m okay though. Well, mostly…” Dean murmured. He received curious looks and gulped. “The doctor said I can’t walk again. It’s permanent.”

“Don’t worry about that, son. We don’t love you any less.” John assured him with a squeeze of his shoulder and a smile. It made Dean emotional but he sucked it up before he could cry. Now was not the time for that.

“Thank you. All of you.” He sniffled and all three hugged him again. So much for no chick flick moments. Even Sam looked smug. “Can I talk to Sam, alone? Please?”

“Of course, honey. We’ll bring you food because I know how much you don’t like the food here.” Mary chuckled and Dean smiled with excitement. When they left the room Dean already felt exhausted. He wanted to sleep for another ten years or so.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Sam asked.

“I don’t blame Cas for what he did.” Dean raised a hand when he saw Sam open his mouth. “Let me explain. That wasn’t him today. We met him ten years ago, and he changed a lot since then. If it weren’t for us he wouldn’t be this mindless soldier. That’s what he was back there. He didn't know us. He was only following orders, and I get it. That’s why I don’t blame him. If anything, I want to help him.”

“You mean…?”

A tear slid down Dean’s cheek and he nodded. “I love mom and dad. I love the life we have in this world, but it’s just a fantasy. I love helping people and saving lives even more. I love…” Dean gulped. “I love Cas even more.” Sam placed a hand on Dean’s leg and squeezed. “I can’t feel that you know?”

“Shut up. Don’t ruin the moment.” Sam huffed, making Dean laugh. Sam was also smiling. “I’m glad you figured out what you wanted. I’m going to tear up. You’re willing to give up this normal life to be with Cas. That’s true love right there I’m so emotional.” Sam wiped away the tears that threatened to fall.

Dean punched his brother on the shoulder and shook his head. “You’re a bitch.”

“I’m sorry! It’s just that...Finally! I’m so happy for you, Dean.” Sam smiled. “Are you going to tell mom and dad?”

“Yes. I’m ready.” Dean nodded.

 

\-     -     -     -     -

 

A few days later Dean was able to go home after his doctor discharged him. He was so happy to be out of the hospital but now that he needed a damn wheelchair maybe laying in bed all day was better. He dreaded what was going to come.

Mary helped him inside and practically babied him. Dean had to tell her so many times he was a grown ass man who was doing just  _ fine.  _ She did not listen not that Dean minded anyway. He liked having a mother to fuss over him. It made him rethink his decision but he wasn’t going to change it. Yes, he’ll miss his parents but he missed Cas even more.

After Dean ate his food he placed his silverware on the table and cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. “I want to thank you all for being here with me and making me happy. I love you all, but…” he gulped. “I can’t stay. No matter how much I want to so bad I just can’t. This place isn’t for me.” He bit down on his bottom lip and sighed.

“What are you talking about sweetie?” Mary frowned.

“I met someone. They’re really awesome. You would love them if you ever met them, but they live somewhere else, and I miss them. That’s why I can’t stay. I want to go live with them, start a new life, and maybe even start a family if possible.” He shrugged.

His parents smiled and Mary reached out to rub his arm. “I’m so glad you met someone, Dean. We want you to be happy, and if that means moving somewhere else to be with her then so be it.”

John needed in agreement. “We hope to meet her one day.”

“Yeah. Maybe one day.” Dean nodded. “He would love you guys…” He whispered and averted their gaze.

John looked taken back by the response but his opinion didn’t change. “I hope so. We’re awesome parents.” He smiled and pulled Mary close.

Dean smiled and glanced back at his parents. “I love you both. I’m going to miss you.” In the corner of his eye, he could see Sam placing the pearl on the table.

“We love you too,” Mary answered. “And we love you, Sam.”

“I love you,” Sam whispered with a crack in his voice. He cleared his throat and stepped forward to give his parents a hug. “Goodbye.”

Dean struggled to grab his shoe and huffed. Being in a wheelchair was difficult for him. He slammed the heel of the shoe against the pearl and it shattered. He saw Sam flinch and the kitchen started to fade away. Sam pulled away from his parents and smiled sadly. They were the last to fade away and the brothers felt a sense of loss when they were gone.

The main room of the bunker was back. It was deserted and free from anyone except for Sam and Dean. The silence was broken by the bunker door opening and Sam walked over to see who it was. Dean still couldn’t move his legs and used the wheels with irritation. Cas stood by the bottom of the stairs and he was staring at the wheelchair Dean was using. His lips trembled and his hands clenched into tight fists to keep them from shaking.

“I remembered what happened…” Cas said weakly and turned away. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault.” Dean said awkwardly. When Cas was still turned away Dean sighed. “You’re not even gonna give me a hug?” He joked.

Cas turned his attention to Dean and he looked about two seconds away from bawling his eyes out. He looked surprised at Dean’s request and took a step forward. When the hunter raised his arms Cas closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly. The angle was awkward but they managed. Sam was already long gone to give them some privacy.

Cas pulled away and sniffled. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it.”

“I can fix it…” Cas whispered. “If you want me to?”

“That would be perfect actually. The wheelchair doesn’t suit me. Beam me up, angel.” He grinned. Cas placed a hand over Dean’s forehead and healed him. Dean wiggled his toes and lifted his feet before standing up. “I’m never taking my legs for granted ever again.”

“I’m sorry again.”

“Shut up, Cas.” Dean pulled Cas in for a proper hug. The angel melted into his touch and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Dean pulled away from him and smiled at him. He pushed the hair out of Cas’ face and leaned in to kiss him.

Cas gasped in surprise but got with the program quickly. He kissed Dean back just as eager;y and smiled shyly. “What was that for? I almost killed you.”

Dean chuckled. “That was for being you. The pearl…” he shifted from foot to foot as he thought about how to explain his situation. “The pearl showed me a life without you. A life where you didn’t remember me. It made me realize I can never live without you. Not really anyway. It showed me how much I loved you. I gave up the normal life with my happy parents to be with you. To be with Sam, and with Jack. I wanted us to be together as a family, as a couple to fight against evil and save people’s lives.’ Dean kissed Cas’ hands. “This is the life I want. As long as I have you.”

Cas’ eyes welled up in tears again and he let them fall. Dean wiped away the tears with caution and Cas surged forward to kiss him again. “I love you too, Dean. I’ve always loved you. I’m so happy you returned those feelings.”

“I’ve been kind of a dick lately, and I’m sorry for that, but I told my parents about you. They accepted me even though I’m giving myself to a man. That’s all I needed to say ‘fuck it’ and tell you.” Dean leaned his forehead against Cas’. “I’m going to show you how special and loved you are for the rest of my damn life because you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Dean” Cas smiled. He laid his head on Dean’s chest and wrapped his arms around the man. Dean returned the hug and they stayed holding each other until the moment was broken by Jack.

“What happened? Did I miss something?” Jack asked as he entered the room.

“No! Don’t cockblock them!” Sam shouted from the hallway. He came into the room and shoved Jack aside. “Proceed you love birds!”

“Does Sam not realize he’s the one who always does it?” Cas asked. He didn’t move from his position when Jack entered and Dean was glad for that.

“I don’t think so, but he will not ruin any more moments. I’ll just pretend he isn’t there.” Dean chuckled.

“Good because I like to know how much I am loved.”

“You got it, angel.”


End file.
